


We're Better Together

by King_Awesomeness



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Fix-It, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), but it does get better, depression and anxiety, except probably steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:43:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Awesomeness/pseuds/King_Awesomeness
Summary: Tony's tired. He just wants a break. Bucky is miles away, feeling lost and guilty. If he doesn't get out of the Rogue Avengers Compound, he might lose his mind - again. Somehow, the two are able to find a peace in each other, despite their demons.





	1. The Calm Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> My work is only proofread by me, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I enjoyed writing this, so I hope y'all like it!

If there's one thing Tony's used to, it's rejection. From the moment Howard sent his first robot crashing into the wall, fear of rejection had been in the back of his head. Sure, getting into MIT had helped his anxieties a bit, and to be honest it was a major confidence booster. But that didn't change the fact that he was younger than everyone by almost four years. College wasn't what his fourteen year-old self had expected it to be, not by a long shot. Tony felt excluded from every party, every friend group, and every version of beer pong he knew about- because of his age. It was the first time Tony hated his genius.  
That is, until he met Rhodey.  
  
James "Rhodey" Rhodes was, and still is, the best friend Tony could ask for. He respected Tony, from the moment they first met in engineering, during freshman year. Rhodey never excluded him from anything, inviting him to parties he never would've known about. But Rhodey was also kind, smart, and had a sense of humor to match Tony's. Rhodey was one of his first friends, and Tony's still eternally grateful for him.  
  
But even Rhodey's years of friendship couldn't replace Tony's fear of rejection. The thought lingered in the back of his mind constantly. He kept wondering when Rhodey would leave him, when he would start treating him like the rest did - like a child. Of course, Rhodey never would, but that feeling never left, no matter how hard he tried to accept himself.  
  
Fast forward several years, to the death of his parents. Tony didn't know how to feel. He loved his mother, more than anything in the entire world, but his father...that was a whole other story. Howard was a complete bastard, horrible excuse of a father, your typical Deadbeat  Dad™. But Tony still mourned him after he died. He honestly didn't think he could love the man after the things he said to him; the things he'd _thrown_ at him; but Howard was still his father. And so he went to the funeral, mostly for the sake of his mother, and keeping appearances. Tony became the head of Stark Industries at the age of 17, and that was that.  
  
Then came Afghanistan, some time later.  
  
Sand, sand, more sand, a bomb with his own name on it, and a cave he wishes he could rip out of his memory.  
  
Three months in the hellhole that changed his life and purpose forever.  
  
We'll leave it at that for now.  
  
Fast forward past New York, past the mess of _Ultron_ (yikes), and the issue of the Accords, which could have gone way fucking better.  
  
It's been two weeks since Siberia. Tony's been sulking and working for hours on end. This is not at all what Tony had wanted, what he had signed for. Honestly, he didn't want the Accords, he only needed a solution - and the uncontrollable mess because of it wasn't worth it. When Steve left him alone in the abandoned Siberia base, he thought he had lost everything. More than half of the Avengers followed Steve to Wakanda, Rhodey was paralyzed from the waist down, and according to the world, the Avengers were no longer a team. All Steve left for him was a crappy letter and a burner phone Tony hoped he'd never use. What could make matters worse?  
  
Tony sighed, his face scrunching up as he looked down at the busted arc reactor in front of him. He hadn't bothered to fix his suit yet, because the last time he'd looked at it, he ran for the nearest bottle he could find. Nothing hurt more than the memories.  
  
"Friday dear, what's the time?"  
  
"2:14 in the morning sir. You are the only one awake in the building," Friday answered, a hint of sorrow in her voice. "You are scheduled for a call with senator Ross in the morning sir, it'd be wise to get some sleep."  
  
"Yeah, sure, of course." _Sleep_ . Tony hadn't slept in the past 5 days. He didn't plan on sleeping anytime soon. 

__________________________

  
Ross had been a nosy dick, as always. Every couple of days, the senator would call Tony to ask for any information on the location of the rouge avengers. Tony always gave him the same answer, or sometimes never answered at all. In truth, he figured out exactly where Steve and the others went when they escaped the Raft. T'challa is a man with a generous heart, and Wakanda's a good place to hide "enhanced individuals". But Tony wasn't giving that information to Ross anytime soon. Ugh.  
  
Tony stood up from his desk and stretched, yawning. There were bags under his eyes, and he had more gray hairs than usual. He's been doing 12 things at once, it seems. He worked on perfecting Rhodey's prosthetics whenever he could. At the same time, Tony was doing everything in his power to clear Steve's name, along with the others. The first step to re-uniting the Avengers (if it was even possible) was to get everyone on the good side of the law. Tony didn't need any of his teammates in jail.  
  
"Teammates?" Tony wondered aloud. Before the past month, he considered most of them as family. Rhodey's been with him since the beginning, always having his back whenever he needed it (or didn't).  
Bruce, Bruce was his greatest friend, his science bro. The two of them were constantly in the lab- sometimes they were civilized, and sometimes they just blew up shit. For science. Nevertheless, Bruce was Tony's go-to man for almost everything, and the fact that he hadn't seen him in almost two years seriously bothered him.  
  
Barton had also been a good friend since New York, with enough sarcasm to rival his own. The two shared coffee, sometimes at three in the morning when neither could sleep. Natasha was a whole other story. Tony tried to stay on her good side as much as he could, always upgrading her weapons and adding new features to her Widow bites, and it paid off. They used to share cheesy one liners at the worst of times, and Tony and Nat were usually the starters of the occasional prank war.  
  
Thor was just great. He radiated happiness and seriousness at the same time, something Tony could never understand. Whenever he could leave Asgard, Thor always stopped by the compound, booming his greeting to his "brothers in arms". Tony loved it, and never hesitated to take him to see the world. Thor really wanted to experience Midgard things, greeting Tony with a smile and a back-breaking hug.  
  
The new Avengers Tony didn't know very well, but he tried to get along with them, see what they value. They all had stories of their own, and (contrary to popular belief) Tony would listen. And Steve... well, for a long time , he thought he could trust Steve.  
  
He was wrong.  


____________________________

  
"Buck, this is insane."  
  
"It's not insane and you know it, Steve!" Bucky said, his remaining hand gripping the rails of the Wakandan balcony in exasperation.  
  
"If we go back, he'll kill you on sight-"  
  
"Yeah, well that's a chance I'm willing to take." Steve sighed, throwing his hands up in the air rather dramatically. He didn't see why in hell Bucky would want to leave Wakanda, or why he'd want to go to the tower- of all places. Steve had just gotten his only real friend back; it hasn't even been two weeks yet, and already he wanted to leave. It frustrated him to no end.  
  
"Bucky, why do you even want to do this? At least give me a reason, that's all I'm asking for."  
  
Bucky sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Look Stevie, you're great, and you're the person I know the most here, but you have to listen to me." He took a deep breath. "What I did, what I've _done -_ that's something I can never take back. Hydra may have been the one behind the wheel, but _I_ killed his parents. His _parents_ , Stevie. Imagine the pain he must've felt then, think about how hurt he is now. I'm responsible for that. And Stark finding out this way definitely opened old wounds that he wished would heal. Plus-"  
  
Bucky looked Steve in the eye, wondering if he should continue. But the words escaped his mouth before he could make up his mind.  
  
"Plus, waiting until now to tell Stark about his parents probably made new wounds as well."  
  
An awkward silence fell over the balcony. Steve shifted in place, preparing to protest, but Bucky lifted his hand to stop him.    
  
"I don't care about your reasoning right now, Stevie. That was a dick move." Steve looked at his friend in shock, his jaw clenched.  
  
"Anyways, I want to apologize to him. It's the least I can do. Let me go back, Steve. Just for a couple days-"  
  
" _Days?!_ "  
  
"Steve, _please_ . Let me do this," Bucky said, putting one hand on Steve's shoulder. Steve stared at him for a long time, an unreadable expression on his face. After what seemed like forever, he sighed.  
  
"Fine. But only if we all go with you. I'll let T'challa and the team know in the morning."  
  
Bucky exhaled in relief, a tired smile on his face. "Thanks, Stevie."  
  
"Yeah, well, let's hope this goes smoothly."  


 


	2. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By now, everyone thinks the whole "apologize" plan is never going to work out, including T'challa. He tries to warn Tony before-hand, but nothing ever goes as planned.

T'challa is a man with many talents. Dealing with a group of angry superheroes was not one of them. The man tried, he really did, but sometimes even Wakanda's many sights and entertainments weren't enough for the Rouge Avengers. T'challa went out of his way to make sure everyone was accommodated based on what each person desired (because that's what a good king does, y'know?). Decorated rooms with high ceilings, television and internet access, state of the art technology that Stark would _love_ to take apart and analyze. He even let Barton use the Dora Milaje's archery grounds for practice. Their daily shooting competitions were incredibly impressive, and watching them learn from each other with wide eyes and raised eyebrows was hilarious. But apparently that wasn't enough. Steve walked into the common room as T'challa poured himself a glass of water.   
  
"Your highness, Bucky has decided to apologize to Stark for the-" Steve cleared his throat awkwardly, "-for what he did to his parents. I intend to bring him and the rest of the Avengers back to New York for about a week or so."   
  
T'challa didn't have the slightest fucking clue why the captain thought this was a good idea. There was no way bringing seven widely known fugitives with negative feelings towards Tony Stark into one of the most popular cities in the world for the sole purpose of "apologizing" would end well, for both Tony and Steve. T'challa looked at the captain incredulously as he took a slow sip of water.   
  
"When do you plan on leaving?"   
  
"Most likely within the next two days, if that's alright with you."   
  
If he wanted to, T'challa could easily prevent them from ever boarding a plane. This whole plan screamed "bad idea". Both sides of the "civil war" were still healing, both literally and figuratively. He knew how hard it was to cope with the loss of a parent, even if it wasn't recent. Barnes' intent was well meaning, but who knew if anyone was ready to forgive just yet. T'challa thought it over, his fingers tapping against the water glass rhythmically.   
  
"Very well. I hope you all understand the risks in this situation, but I will not stop you from leaving."   
  
"Thank you, your highness."   
  
"Of course."   
  
He waited until Steve left the room to let out a sigh. If Steve was going to take the entire group of fugitive Avengers right to Stark's doorstep, the least T'challa could do was inform him. The Avengers' whereabouts were technically a secret, but he was sure Stark knew about Wakandan hospitality. Even so, the message T'challa sent was vague enough not to give away his location, but it still included enough to warn the other billionaire. T'challa drank the last of his water, setting the glass down hard on the table. He hoped Tony would be okay.

 

____________________________

  
The wheels of the chair annoyed Tony as he rolled around the room. They kept squealing whenever the chair moved, frustrating him to no end. He added "hover chair" to the mental list of things he had to invent sooner or later. Preferably sooner, because the squeaking was ruining the whole aesthetic of the lab.   
  
Today was one of the rare good days. Good days meant Tony could relax a bit. He could concentrate more on the little things, like building a chair without wheels. He didn't have to worry about the mess that was his life. He didn't have to drown his feelings in a bottle. He could just perfect his suits while blasting AC/DC as loud as he could. Even if it was three in the morning. Tony didn't have to care.   
  
"Friday, pull up the specs for the Mark 47, would you?"   
  
"Of course. I recommend making your new suit "Ant-man" proof, boss."   
  
"Way ahead of you, dear." Friday did have a good point. Tony didn't even know the ant guy's name, but he was still impressed by his technology. Pym tech, without a doubt. As cool as it was, Ant-man was still a threat if he could get into Tony's suit. He wrote that down on his mental invention list as well, just above the hover chair. Priorities, and all that.   
  
"Boss, if I may," Friday said, lowering the music as she spoke. "There's a plane of unknown origin approaching the compound. Defense mechanisms are already in place. It would be smart to wear a suit, sir."   
  
Tony frowned, tightening his grip on the screwdriver he was holding. It was three in the fucking morning. He didn't deserve this.   
  
"Is there any trace of vibranium in the plane?" Tony felt like he knew the answer already. He'd gotten the message from King T'challa last week, but he hadn't gotten around to reading it.   
  
"The plane is plated with vibranium, boss."   
  
So T'challa was probably on that jet, along with some bodyguards, most likely. No big deal, right? Yeah, let's just go with that.   
  
He still grabbed the gauntlet-watch from the table, putting it on in haste. He also took the suit bracelets, just in case he needed a full suit.   
  
"Friday, Let me know when it lands."   
  
"Got it boss."   
  
Tony hurried to the lift, stopping in the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of coffee in less than four seconds. Then he poured another cup for T'challa, because he had to have _some_ manners. Tony made it to the roof just as Friday announced the Wakandan plane's landing. Both cups of coffee in hand, he walked over to the plane.   
  
The engines whipped his hair back and forth as Tony thought to himself. He only had two hands, which were both carrying coffee. Was the sake of courtesy more important than his safety, if these guys turned out to be trouble? He really should invest in more hovering surfaces to put things. It didn't make sense logically, but he was just that extra. And also rich.   
  
He decided not to worry about it, and instead looked to the bay door of the plane. It lowered slowly as the jets stopped spinning. Tony kept his distance from the plane, just in case these people weren't friendly. He wondered if the second cup of coffee was a bad idea after all. But he didn't have time to think about anything else, because those bay doors finally lowered, and out stepped Captain fucking Rogers, along with the rest of the fucking rogue avengers. It was a scene straight out of his nightmares. Tony almost turned around on the spot. So _this_ was what T'challa had wrote about in his message. Yikes.   
  
Steve practically strutted over to where Tony stood, the rest of his _team_ trailing awkwardly behind him. They didn't look him in the eyes, and they weren't carrying weapons, but Tony didn't trust any one of them for a second. He almost dropped one of the cups in confused anger. He held his ground though, staring the star-spangled bastard down, jaw clenched, an unreadable expression on his face. His fight or flight adrenaline was kicking in, and Tony wanted to either run, or throw the second cup of coffee in Ste- Roger's face. He blinked a couple times before looking the captain in the eye.   
  
"Stark, I just want to say a few words-"   
  
And that was his cue to leave. Tony whipped around and almost sprinted back to the roof door, coffee barely staying in their mugs. He got to the base of the door before Rogers caught up with him. He grabbed Tony by the arm, turning him towards himself. Tony would've violently flinched away, if it wasn't for the coffee mugs.   
  
"Tony, just hear us out. I know this is sudden-"   
  
"It's three in the fucking morning, get the _fuck_ off me if you want to live." Tony interrupted, his voice deadly. Rogers calmly released his grip on Tony's arm, but he still looked at the smaller man in disapproval.     
  
Tony could give a fuck about disapproval.   
  
"Tony-" _There he goes again, always saying his name in annoyance and exasperation. He was sick of it._

 

"I would like to talk things out with you, in a calm and orderly fashion. And Bucky also wants to speak to you alone. You see, he regrets a lot of things-"  
  
_"I could give a fuck about regret!"_   
  
"Tony, _listen_ -"   
  
"No, I'm not gonna fucking listen! Who do you think you are?"   
  
"At least let us in. We just flew fifteen hours to get here, and we're all really tired. We can all sort this out inside, right?" Rogers gave Tony a pleading look. But Tony wasn't having any of it.   
  
"You should've thought about that before you got on the fucking plane. Did you honestly expect me to, what, invite you all in for dinner? You can't just show up at my literal doorstep without any invitation. Who gave you the idea that you could stay here?"   
  
At this, the other Avengers finally said something.   
  
"Seriously, you're not gonna let us in?" Clint asked. "This is _our_ home too!"   
  
"It _was_ your home, until you all fucked off into Wakanda," Tony spat back.   
  
Rogers looked at him in awe. "You...knew about Wakanda?"   
  
" _Of course_ I knew! Now, you can either stay in that expensive plane or at a hotel somewhere, but you are _never_ setting foot in my building."   
  
Rogers was angry now. "You're really just gonna leave us here? In the middle of the night?!" He looked at Tony through narrowed eyes.   
  
"Well, you did the exact same thing when you left me alone in Siberia." Tony put all the venom he could into that sentence, glowering at the other man in pure rage.   
  
Silence. No one said a word.   
  
Tony stormed into the building, slamming the door closed with his foot. He set the coffee mugs down, almost breaking them before locking the door. His hands were shaking as he downed one coffee. He raced to the nearest alcoholic beverage he could find, and then poured that into the other coffee mug, downing that one in seconds as well.   
  
It had been one of his good days. Why did he have to put up with the bullshit?   
  
He could still hear Rogers banging on the door, shouting about Tony's arrogance, and all that.

 

____________________________

  
Back outside, Steve almost punched the wall. "I knew this wasn't a good idea, Bucky, he never listens. _Never_ ."   
  
Bucky looked down at the floor, his face scrunched up in thought.   
  
"Steve, he's right." Steve looked at him incredulously. "Hey, if I were him, I wouldn't let us in either."   
  
Steve blinked. "Bucky, he has no manners and he's incredibly stubborn-"   
  
"He's stubborn for a _reason_ , Steve," Bucky said, calmly. "I guess I have another thing to apologize for now. I'm not gonna give up just yet."   
  
Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he had a headache.   
  
"Buck, when will you see him for what he truly is?" Bucky frowned at Steve, raising both of his eyebrows.   
  
"When I have an actual conversation with him, that's when. He seems like a reasonable guy from what I can gather, and you've never spoke about him in a good light."   
  
Steve didn't know how to answer that. He just kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Bucky turned to the rest of the Avengers, who really didn't know why they were here.   
  
"Come on guys, we gotta find a hotel." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and tell me what you think! This chapter is longer than I intended it to be, but I still love it. I think we all need a little pissed off Tony in our lives.


	3. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry I haven’t updated in so long, I am caught up with school and orchestra. Don’t expect recent updates but I will try to update whenever I can!

"I don't know if you're all aware of this, but we're known fugitives in 117 countries. There's no way we're gonna find a hotel. Also it's three in the morning," Sam said, unamused.

Steve sighed, running a hand over his face. Like his day couldn't get any worse.

"Guess we're sleeping in the jet then," Bucky said, giving the team a one-shouldered shrug. They sighed exasperatedly in return. In truth, the jet was amazing. Complete Wakandan tech, heated seats, it had everything. But it didn't feel like home- at least for the older avengers. For them, the tower was home... Tony Stark was home. Just months ago he was smiling, sharing stories and inside jokes with them. He was always there when the team needed him, and willing to help everyone in any way he could. But in only ten minutes since they arrived in New York,Tony had slammed a door in their faces. Honestly, what did they expect?

Scott stretched and yawned, and suddenly Bucky remembered how tired he was.

"Well, if we're just gonna stand around here, I'm crashing in the jet, and using someone's coat as a blanket. Preferably Wanda's," Scott said, trudging to the open bay door. The rest of the team dragged themselves over.

For seven people in a regular sized jet, it was pretty crowded. People were scattered around the floor, trying their best to get comfortable. Just like he said he would, Scott had grabbed Wanda's coat and wrapped it around himself like a tiny sleeping bag. It wasn't like they carried blankets and pillows with them on the plane.

Natasha and Sam both crashed on some chairs, while Clint was sprawled across the control table of the plane (despite Steve's disapproval). Wanda was curled up on the floor, with Steve a couple feet away from her. Bucky looked uneasily at the two, scrunching his face up in thought. Although he didn't have a good reason for it, Bucky was strongly against sleeping anywhere near the girl. He settled for a secluded corner of the jet and sat down cross-legged.

It wasn't that he was scared of Wanda, not at all. It's just that she willingly joined HYDRA, a terrorist group hell bent on world domination; a group that tortured and brainwashed Bucky for nearly seventy years; a group that was basically a cult. She volunteered enthusiastically in experiments Bucky was forced into. Even though her intent might not have been world domination, and her intentions were not as cruel as the organization she followed, her actions still sickened him to his core. But Bucky wasn't going to express this out loud, not when Steve was so protective of her. Still, Bucky tried to avoid her to some degree.

"Alright everyone, try to sleep soundly, if you can," Steve said quietly, somehow managing to keep the Leadership in his voice through his exhaustion.

"That was pretty unnecessary," Clint said under his breath. Sam somehow heard him, and nodded in agreement. The two shared a look.

"Steve, I'm being honest here. Why are we staying?" Natasha asked, turning to Steve. "I mean, yes we're all tired, but when the sun comes up, there's literally no reason for all of us to be here."

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but he found himself without an answer.

"We'll figure that out in the morning, Nat." She gave him an incredulous look before silently turning over to sleep.

"Okay but, it _is_ the morning," Clint said, gesturing half-heartedly. "Almost four in the morning, actually."

"Go to sleep Clint."

Bucky unfolded his legs and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling. What could he do? The guilt seemed to engulf him; it followed him everywhere he went. For days at a time he couldn't sleep; nightmares kept hitting him every time he closed his eyes. Without meaning to, he'd closed himself off from the team, never having more than a three sentence conversation with anyone except Steve, and sometimes King T'challa. At first, Bucky was always either in his room or at the gym, and you were lucky if you managed to see him elsewhere. But as the weeks went by, he slowly emerged from his quarters. He appeared in the common room at random times, only nodding a greeting to Natasha before getting a cup of coffee and walking out. The team began to see him more often during meals, and eventually they relaxed around the ex-assassin, much to Steve's content.

But Bucky hadn't relaxed around the team. He didn't know if he could trust them. Actually, Bucky didn't think he knew them at all. He only had actual conversations with Steve and Natasha so far. At first, the team had backed away from him whenever they saw him. Sometimes Sam never looked him in the eyes. But Bucky understood why the team acted so distant around him; they knew what he was capable of, how fast he could pin someone down. So he tried not to pay attention to how Scott quickly turned around to avoid him in the hallway; or how Sam left the room when Bucky first started walking around the compound.

Bucky sighed for what felt like the thousandth time. He crossed his arms over his chest, still staring up at the jet ceiling. He could hear different sets of snores throughout the jet as people fell asleep one by one. Soon, Bucky was the only one awake.

What was he going to do?

It was obvious Tony wanted nothing to do with him. Or any of them, for that matter. Which was completely reasonable, considering the damage between them. But that earth-shattering _guilt_ was still there. In fact, Bucky didn't think it would go away even if he _did_ get the chance to apologize. But he still had to try. For his and Tony's sake. But that roof door was most definitely locked, and it probably would be for the foreseeable future. So if he couldn't meet him face to face, Bucky had to find another way to get his point across. Right now, the most plausible course of action would be to write a letter -- which was difficult enough as it is.

He looked around for a pen and paper in the drawer near the control panel, careful not to wake up Clint. For a guy who slept with a gun most nights, he was a surprisingly heavy sleeper.

After rummaging around for a few minutes, Bucky picked up a barely used gel pen, and the back of an instruction manual, written in Wakandan. He took a deep breath. He was never very good at writing letters.

_Dear Tony,  
I wanted to say I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know I hurt you, and I'm not asking you for forgiveness, god knows I don't deserve that - but I just want to talk to you. Face to face. I understand if you don't want to, and it's totally fine. It's just that I can't get all I want to say on the back of this paper. And I'm also shit at writing letters. But, if you ever want to talk things out with me, I'm here. If you want to punch me, you can do that too. I know there's no fixing what I did, so burn this if you want. Just know that I'm so terribly sorry, and if I could do anything to help you, I would in a heartbeat._

_James Barnes_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in the comments if I should add more! I probably will anyway, and ill update hopefully but I don't have a schedule so I honestly can't guarantee anything! :)


End file.
